Not According To Plan
by Mellize
Summary: Summary: After Yoshiwara in Flames arc. Kagura decided to take action in her revenge against her idiotic older brother, Kamui. Though things didn't go well after something or rather someone happened to her. Kagura and Kamui has switched roles here. Picture Cover belongs to Anele from Zerochan!


A/N: Hey guys! So I was inspired by a picture I saw in Zerochan and decided to make a story about it. So here it is! I hope you guys enjoy~

Warning: Kamui and Kagura are OOC because they have switched roles. Also there will be curses.

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama and the picture cover belongs to anele-san!**

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(Third Pov)

It was a fine and a peaceful morning in Edo. Our unbelievable protagonist, Kamui woke up by the sound of birds chirping. He sat up slowly while yawning inside his close-…small room. He got out of his 'room' by crawling out like a worm.

His blue pajamas had wrinkles and some parts of it has drools all over. Although his long vermillion hair has another story that's far worse than his clothes as usual. Seeing that he always looks like a disaster first thing in the morning, he decided to go to the bathroom to fix his self.

He checked himself and sighed, his hair was difficult to take care. Despite how much he longed to cut his hair short, he decided not to because mami had always love his hair and used to take care of it with love and care. Of course, he didn't want to erase one of the things his mami loved about him. That's why he still kept it the same.

Now you, readers know why Kamui tends to be too sensitive about his hair and easily gets pissed off when they mess with his hair. He'll definitely get the taste of his wrath if they did but of course he won't 'kill' them.

After combing it with a cheap brush for who knows how long, he started braiding it neatly. He was glad that his mami taught him how to braid his own hair or else he will look like someone who broke out of prison. And so, his fixing activities continued until 30 minutes later. After fixing himself, he went outside wearing his usual Chinese clothes.

Now that he looks fine and fresh, Kamui decided to do something fun outside. But before that, he went to his poor-excuse-of-a-boss, Gintoki's office to tell him. As expected, Gintoki sat on the couch and read his beloved 'Jump'.

"Hey Gin-san! I'm heading outside now! Don't bother asking me to buy you Jump because…you never give me my salary you perm head~," Kamui said happily wondering if it will work in making Gintoki give him money. To his surprise, he saw money flying towards his face but he caught it with ease. He was a skilled fighter but only second to his younger sister, Kagura.

"You better buy me the next Jump pinkie or I'll never give you money again…," said the lazy as ever Gintoki. Gintoki gave him a glance before returning to reading his Jump.

"Yeah, yeah. And my hair is not PINK!," Kamui said half-relaxed as he took his purple parasol before leaving. He couldn't believe Gintoki gave him enough money to buy not only Jump but food for his black whole of a stomach as well. As he walked in the streets of Edo, he didn't notice a pair of similar eyes watching him intently from a dark alleyway.

8-8-8

"Who could have thought? Of all places that Baka-nii can live in, he chose a place where I can easily find him. He's still idiotic as ever…," said a young girl with medium vermillion hair that's tied in a high Chinese bun on the right side and ocean blue eyes. She wore a Red sleeveless Cheongsam that reached above her knees, black cardigan, brown short, black stockings, and brown boots.

"Dancho...aren't we here for business and not some grudge you have towards your nii-chan?," said a middle aged man beside her. The man seems to look like he didn't want to get involved but he was dragged by her anyways leading him to having no choice at all. Why was he stuck with an easily angered and greedy girl of a captain of the 7th Harusame squad in the first place? She brought him nothing but stress and unnecessary trouble ever since they first met. He swore that if it was anyone else, they could have died along the way.

The unbelievable young villain and younger sister of Kamui, Kagura slowly turned to him with her usual scowl on her pretty face. If she wasn't angry or happily bloodthirsty, she would wear an expressionless face. Abuto, her powerful (unfortunate) subordinate would always thank Kami if Kagura gets emotionless because she wouldn't say mean comments or do something without thinking. Stopping her from doing unnecessary actions was one of his job after all. "You don't understand what I'm feeling…that bastard did this to me!," said the angry Kagura because if she were to raise her voice, she'll get caught by someone. She showed Abuto who was just plainly bored, the back and lower part of her head that has no hair in it. In other words, she's a bit bald (temporarily) as of right now and it was all thanks to Kamui who lost control of his Yato blood during his fight with Abuto.

"So your nii-chan cut off some part of your hair? It will grow sooner or later," was his reply by the sight of his angry dancho's small bald part. Like Kamui, Kagura was the same with her hair but unlike Kamui, she'll kill them without hesitate because of her hair.

"Do you realize that it's your fault as well that this happened to me…? I'll cut off your other arm for this aru," she said quietly with a dead angry look. Abuto could have sworn that she looks like a predator ready to kill his prey but he wasn't a typical prey so he managed to survive for this long.

"But if you do, then…who will write all those long boring reports for you, hm?," he calmly said and Kagura did nothing but sigh at his words.

"Tch. Whatever...I'll make my bastard of a brother suffer for making me ¼ bald. Then the author is my next target for making me a villain when I'm actually the main HEROINE of Gintama. How dare she makes Kamui a fucking main character? Doesn't she realize that she's hurting my feelings! They'll pay for this aru," Kagura ranted.

" _But I was experimenting on how you two came to be if both roles are switched…,"_ was the quiet reply of the author that came from nowhere.

"Experimenting my ass! I'll show you what experiment is, once I'm done with Kamui! Wait a minute. You're not supposed to be part of this story aru! Get out woman!," Kagura yelled to the author who didn't have a physical body for she didn't belong in the Gintama world. And it became quiet, very quiet.

"Dancho. That was a little harsh for someone who you didn't know until 35 seconds ago, don't you think?," Abuto said, feeling kind of sorry to poor author who disappeared from the story after what Kagura said.

"Tch. As if I care…I'm off then aru," Kagura said as she disappeared in a blink of an eye leaving Abuto to do what he needed to do alone. All by himself.

"She'll probably buy a hair removal shampoo and try to switch it with their shampoo when it's her brother's turn to take a shower. Guess we'll have to stay here for a few days. I might as well book a room for us," Abuto said to himself with a sigh. He disappeared off to an opposite direction his dancho took.

8-8-8

Kamui (with a plastic bag filled with food in hand) continued to enjoy his time strolling around Edo. Even if he was alone, he had fun time joining eating contest in random restaurants he lays his blue eyes on. He was happy to eat free meals since he wasn't rich to pay his own expenses. It's to be expected if Gintoki was your boss. The people and the cooks watching him was shock to see him eating like a gluttonous monster which caused him to get free food for today's dinner. Shinpachi wouldn't have to worry cooking dinner for them today since he got food for them as well.

He kept on strolling, trying to find restaurants to eat more until he stopped as something that caught his attention. It was a pet store and the first thing that his eyes landed on was a white bunny that was glaring at him from inside the window. He knelt down and smiled, a sad smile. For some reason, the bunny reminded him of Kagura. It was because of the expression it was giving him. He remembered the cruel words she said to him when Housen, her late mentor was defeated and left like the wind before he can approach her.

 _(Flashback)_

" _How about fighting with the second Queen of the Night right now?," Kagura said happily as she opened her ocean blue eyes that were filled with excitement. She then heard bullets coming at her and she easily dodged them like it was nothing. She turned to see an unexpected angry Kamui who turned to be the one who aimed at her._

" _Kagura! I'm your opponent!," he yelled as he jumped down on the roof ground. Kagura saw his right hand wrapped in a cast and bandages while his shaking left hand held his parasol that appeared to look weak to Kagura. Kagura knew that Kamui has a difficulty holding his weapon and sun protector in his left hand since he was used to holding it in his right hand. Kagura was surprised, really surprised at this. Everyone can see how surprised Kagura was when her eyes widen in shock and decided not to do anything._

 _Who could have thought Kamui had grown a little tougher?_

" _I'll fix that twisted attitude of yours!," he continued as he raised his parasol but Shinpachi ran to him and restrained him from doing so. Kamui was pretty pissed when Shinpachi prevented him from what he has to do. Kamui struggled against Shinpachi's grip trying to get free._

" _You can't Kamui! Not in your current condition!," Shinpachi reasoned but this didn't stop Kamui._

" _Let me go, four-eyes!"_

" _Stop it, Kamui!"_

" _This is surprising aru," Kagura paused as she slowly stood up and was recovered from her shock. "You're still alive? It appears that you've gotten a little tougher. Well whatever. You're already dead to me no matter what you do or say so you can't change that bastard," Kagura coldly said causing Kamui to flinch as guilt started to build up inside but he still continued to struggle. Then she turned back to Gintoki to say what she wanted to say._

" _He's not much of a brother but do take care of him aru. Make him strong, will ya? Oh, and you should do some more training too," Kagura asked him 'politely' and Gintoki wondered what she could be thinking as she said those words. He doesn't know how a mind of an insane killer works after all._

" _Hey, you!," Gintoki yelled as Kagura turned her back against them._

" _I'm the kind of person who saves her favorite part of a meal for the end. In other words, I've taken a liking to you aru. Make sure to heal those wounds. Well, you'll probably have a lot to deal with, but don't die," Kagura paused once again as she turned to give him the 'look' as he continued to listen to her. "Until I kill you aru," she looked away and took a step forward then continued until she was in the very edge of the roof tiles. "See ya, Mr. Samurai."_

 _To Kamui's shock, Kagura jumped down and she slowly disappeared from his sight. He has yet to do the things he needed as her big brother! This can't be happening and just when he just found her again!_

" _Wait, Kagura!," Kamui yelled despite the fact that Kagura couldn't hear him anymore. He still did._

" _Kagura!"_

 _(End of Flashback)_

"You must really hate me this much for leaving you to find baldy and you had to take care of mami alone while you trained with Housen-san, huh Kagura? It must have been painful for you," he said, imagining he was talking to Kagura instead of the bunny as he continued to stare at the white bunny who seemed to have stop glaring at him. He could never forgot that very day when he came back home because he failed to find papi only to see that he was there but nearly killed Kagura if he hadn't stop him from doing so. He was shocked to see that a bloody arm was laying on the ground along beside Kagura. He knew what tradition Kagura was doing very well, it was 'Parent-killing' and the thought of Kagura following the Yato tradition scared him a lot.

He still was a failure of a brother when he couldn't stop Kagura from leaving after their mami died a few days ago it occurred. If he was more careful back then, Kagura couldn't have knocked him out unconscious and only to wake up afterwards to see that she's gone. Maybe if he was different then he could have done something to help Kagura like a big brother should and how he wish that he was the one suffering the path Kagura was taking instead. Kagura could have been a part of the Yorozuya Gin-chan and has become someone happy and kind as she grows instead of him. If only things were different for them.

But it was too late to regret what he had done in the past. All he can do now is to prevent Kagura from falling in the dark path fully before it's too late.

"Oops…I dozed off again. Silly me," Kamui said to himself as he shook off his thoughts again. He stood up and gave the white bunny a glance before walking away. It was definitely early evening now, seeing that the sun was now setting down. He better get home before-…oh yeah Kamui forgot about the Jump. Gintoki will definitely be pissed and not give him money. Guess he'll have to buy it before he goes back home. As he continued to walk, finding the next Jump in every store he saw, he felt chills going up his spine. He knew that feeling very well, he had this feeling that someone was following him so decided to pay attention to it.

After an hour later, Kamui had finally got the Jump Gintoki wanted and yet the feeling is still there. Someone was obviously following him but who? He felt a little nervous because he didn't know the person. So he decided taking a peek at the stalker would be helpful. He turned around to see Sadaharu (a name he gave to the white huge dog because that's the name Kagura would give to her pets and he couldn't think of any name) behind him. Kamui sighed in relief that it was just Sadaharu. Kamui approached closer to him and before he can pet Sadaharu, his surroundings turned black. He realized that his head was inside Sadaharu's mouth a few seconds later.

"Sadaharu. Please let go of me…," Kamui said kindly, his words were echoing inside Sadaharu's mouth. Sadaharu did what he said and Kamui can feel his blood was all over his face. Thankfully, he had a white towel with him and he wiped off the blood from his face. A smile was still present on his face even after what Sadaharu did to him. He could see the scared looks the citizens were giving him but he disregarded them. He then jumped and sat on Sadaharu's back, ready to go back home.

"Sadaharu. Let's go back home neh?"

"Arf!," and they went home still unaware of someone following them.

8-8-8

"Damn. I was close to getting caught aru," Kagura said as she hid behind a trash can that was twice her size. She listened to Kamui's talk with the white dog and was surprised that it was named "Sadaharu". She nearly want to jump on him and beat him up for stealing the name that she uses for her former pets. She worked hard thinking of a perfect name after all and he just stole it! She took out her pen and note pad from her pocket then started writing.

"Reminder to self, make sure to kill Kamui in an embarrassing way…," Kagura said as she wrote down notes in her note pad before placing it back to its original place. She made sure that Kamui was far enough from her so he couldn't see her and so she started following with a bottle of shampoo in hand.

(Hours later)

After Kagura successfully switched their shampoo with the shampoo she brought. She decided to leave before someone sees her and she failed to see Gintoki's stalker hiding somewhere. Now that the first step is complete, all she has to do is wait for her brother to take a shower and use it. She can't wait to see his miserable face before he leaves.

As she walking, something or rather someone appeared out of nowhere and bumped into her. Kagura having a small but strong built body didn't fall instead it was the person who bumped into her. "Sorry…," she quietly apologized and was about to leave when…

"Tch. For a young and small girl, you sure have a strong body. What are you a monster?," said a man with dirty blonde hair and red eyes. Kagura became pissed at this.

"So what if I'm a monster aru, huh? You should watch where you're going idiot!"

"You hurt this officer's feelings…now you must pay," the man tried to use his sadistic methods but sadly it didn't work on Kagura since she was not someone people thought she would be. This surprised the man.

"What? You're not affected?"

"You think that lame trick of yours would work on me? Dream on bastard," Kagura yelled as she couldn't resist the urge and she aimed her umbrella at the man to shoot but to her surprise, the man dodged all of them. In fact, he used his katana to break it into pieces. Kagura grinned, she just kept meeting strong opponents. The world of samurais were interesting after all.

"Guns and swearing are not allowed kid," he warned playfully and the heated battle begins.

8-8-8

Kamui was on his way back home when he heard screams and things breaking. He ordered Sadaharu to take him to the place where it came from. He was surprised to see Kagura out in public, seeing that she's a captain (soon-to-be admiral) of the Harusame. She is a fearsome person to be with. It was clear that she was having a heated battle with someone and it wasn't a surprise her opponent is Souichirou (A/N: It's Sougo…Kamui). It's to be expected the man is a sadist and a skilled fighter, he might be an equal match to Kagura even if he wasn't a Yato.

"It must be tough taking care of her before neh?," said a familiar voice and Kamui jumped off of Sadaharu and went to his fighting stance. The older man was amused that Kamui became jumpy by the sound of his voice, he must have been traumatized after what he did to his friend.

"What are you doing here?"

"Calm down. Dancho and I have some business (*cough* grudge *cough*) matters here to take care of here on Earth. We're not here to fight…although it seems like someone has provoked Dancho to make her behave like this"

"Business, huh?," Kamui asked as he slowly back away from Abuto since he didn't forgive him for nearly killing Shinpachi. He didn't like Abuto in the least and it's very obvious.

"Since we're done with our 'business'…we're leaving," Abuto said as he approached the fighting teens and grabbed Kagura her by the waist to her anger.

"Tch. Just when I was actually having fun and ready to kill that bastard…you showed up aru," Kagura said as she kicked him in the leg with force but after being with her for so long, Abuto got used to it but man, it still hurts.

"Yeah. Yeah…let's go Dancho"

"Wait! You, what's your name aru?," Kagura asked and the man she was fighting with not too long ago smirked.

"So you've fallen for me China?"

"In your dreams asshole!"

"It's Sougo. Okita Sougo," the man named "Sougo" said to Kagura.

"I won't kill you all for now aru. Next time we meet…it will be war haha," Kagura said evilly as she widely grinned showing off her white teeth. Sougo who had thought she was joking, just smirked in return. Kamui and Abuto sadly became invisible to them...

"Sure. Whatever…"

Finally the two left leaving both Sougo and Kamui who resisted the urge to chase after them there. The citizens had already left long time ago before Sougo and Okita had started. Kamui made the first move by walking towards Sougo and placed a hand on his shoulder that has force in it. Sougo could feel his bones slowly breaking and glared at Kamui. "What do you want Hong Kong?"

"Don't you ever provoke my sister again unless you want to see the end of the world…also stay away from her Souichirou," Kamui warned and his ahoge started twitching like crazy. His brotherly instincts were on.

"So that monster girl is your sister? Ha. No wonder she's such violent and annoying as you. It's because you two are siblings," Sougo commented rudely and laughed making Kamui want to choke him but decided not to. "Also…I never thought you have sister complex! This makes things more hilarious. HAHAHAHA"

"Shut up you stupid Sadist!," and the two males started arguing which was more less violent and bearable than Sougo and Kagura's. It continued until Hijikata and Gintoki dragged them away from each other before things get worse.

(Next day)

As it was Kamui's turn to take a shower, Kagura watched from somewhere. She couldn't wait to see him putting the said shampoo on his hair and later when he finishes, he'll see his precious hair falling and make the most pleasing actions from him. In a few minutes, Kagura saw Kamui holding the bottle of the shampoo and waited for him to pour it on his hair. But to her surprise, he did the opposite.

He threw the bottle of the window and it landed on her face leaving a red mark. Kagura gritted her teeth in anger as she held the bottle. How did he knew that it was a hair removal shampoo?! She made sure to take off the label! Shortly her answers were heard when she heard someone else screaming.

"AHHHHHHHHH! My precious hair!," screamed the perm haired samurai who's now bald.

"Oh…," was all Kagura can say. Kamui must have seen Gintoki's hair falling one by one and became careful because of it. Kamui was not really an idiot after all.

"Tch. I'll think of something that's far worse than this you bastard!," Kagura said before running off to go back to her spaceship which she called "China Girl".

Until they meet again…

-The End-

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A/N: And that's the story everyone! I know it didn't turn out as awesome as I expected it to be *Sigh* But at least I did my best. I might write a Flashback version of this to make things clear to why Kagura is a villain and Kamui is not in this story.

Thank you for reading!


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